I am rather tired now.. Emotionally and physically..

As a guy, there are many things that we needs to do, we need to maintain. But what if there is only going out, but nothing coming in>?



Nevertheless, to keep the line going, i have to keep it up.. till the other one gets the fire and lights it on.. Early mornings to ensure that we still have the time to meet... For i am prepared, that u will say on friday- i am simply too tired.. we have meet each other everyday..lets meet on monday bah.. well.. i dunno why.. but its just kinda disappointed.. But i dare not say anything... cuz u will think that i am inconsiderate. hmmx.. life's hard.. i know.. but so? people will still say- i choose it... ya...

100% work - 0 % love i know, school work is important.. but right now, we are in a relationship.. u are not living alone now.. its two hearts... Every presentation, every tests, i concern them as much as u do.. i waited for u to reply..for u to tell me how u fare.. hey.. i am done with my presentation! dear.. tks for supporting me!

Lik this at least i can heave a sigh of relieve... but.. the msg din come.. i tot u might still be preparing.. so i waited.. till ur end of lesson... Hmmx... so throughout the whole 8 hours, i wasnt even worth 1 min of ur time. while i am thinking of u every single moment

i know, if i complain to u, tell u about this, u will be unhappy, say i am stirring up trouble.. make a fuss of such small matter. But for me.. ITS A GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT!

in front of ur friends.. i am just lik another friend to u. u treat me lik ur other friends.. this, i can only tell myself.. perhaps, this is u ba.. when u told me about ur friend.. that girl who kiss, even when u all are busy. As for guys, we will certainly want such a girl. Of course.. when u are busy, hugging kissing is not appropriate. but i believe a tap on the cheek, a tight cosy quick hug, a warming msg, to report to me about ur current condition..This is definitely a super big assurance to guys! that u still care about them! Its all due to how much u prioritise a person in ur life. Otherwise, it would simply means that- boy friend are only to be entertain, whenever u are free. So in future. please lookup for me when i am free. When i am busy, just wait for me at one corner and wait for me till i call u to come.

I may seems to be unreasonable, but to tell u the truth, thats wad i felt. from tuesday till today. 3 straight days..

u may be someone who doesnt show ur love through actions. but it doesnt have to be limited only to that? words.. msges, mails.. but i get none..

how do my heart get peace, security.. when u simply tell me.. i love euu.. words that only can be heard when u are free.

in a relationship.. its not the guy blend into the girls life, vice versa..

Its a whole new life! with two hearts to be concern of!

i waited for ur msg. wait aand wait.. each vibration on my phone within this three days- Saber,zhong ying, mouse, xin hui, chie heng. but dun have ur presence. My heart sinks, but i tell myself. No, dun let this disappointment out of ur heart.

忍一时，海夸天空..

But how much more? i afraid i will break down... but i know what will ur outcome be.. that is.. keep quiet. then emo. then i will say.. its all my fault. then u will say i make u sad. then i will heart pain, and let the matter go. then allow history to repeat itself!

maybe i love u till the extent that i dun even wan to let u get hurt. Hence, i am keeping all to myself. Holding on to the love in my heart. Maybe soon, this will become one sided.

why?

because each day, when u rush ur work... i am being left left out of ur life. thrown in one corner...

then afterwards, u will say u dun feel any love from me anymore..

then when someone approach u, help u a hand...

then u will say, that person concern u more then i do...

then the world will change...

ur heart will change....

then when i explain... u will say... i am unreasonable

its all different

now i dun love u

and yea.. thats the outcomee...

so now, no matter what, no matter how tired i am.. i still have to find time to find u in the morning.. it seems that the only time is in the morning already... i am sure.. if without this mornings, our love for each other will decrease lik mad..

So thats the reason, why i am worried about next semester. i dun wan to lose u..

for normal girls, they willl auto msg the guys.. lik where u now, wad u doing... i miss euu... keep tracking of their guys..allowing them to know that their girls miss them..

but for me, i end up keeping tracks of u instead, and sometime u dun even bother to reply... how saddening.. when i say, u will say.. i am busy.. cant u be more considerate? cant i have more trust??????????????????????????????

seriously, i reali want to tell u all this, let u be aware about how i feel.. but i dare not do it.. Please god... help me.. i know i cant leave it like this..

for i will break down sooner or later..

Labels: I shall be strong