HAHAz.... Ironically, i tinks that i will create a different blog from others, a blog without sadness, without complains.. But in the end, my first post ended up a not a very happy post. This blog created specially for u, but it ends up being a blog which held memories for u.. Ironic right?

Yesterday went for investiture.. Everything went smoothly, my dear was as pretty as ever.. Her smile manage to throw away all my burdens at that moment.( Includes 4 presentation and 6 tests, HI club performances, ndp shows) everything went smmothly.. Real smoothly.. As usual we took photos and smiles. Everything happens so quickly and smoothly..

After which, i even cabbed back to Np to meet out with my group members for proj. Feeling high, feeling refreshed by ur smile, i managed to endure through the whole 3.5 hours.. Tks dear..

But when i reached home, things started to go wrong.. My dear ended up sending me a msg. A msg which stops me from doing anything. A msg which stunned me instantly.. A msg which turns my mind into empty space.. (vacuum) hahaz..

i wanted to reply harshly, i wanted to argue, i wanted to ask why, a thousand why, a million why.., i want a good ans.. But in the end, i jus decided to let it go.. Why? Cuz previously i heard that she got 3 tests on friday, and i dun wanna spoil her mood.. i want her to concentrate in her tests.. Stupid of me right? hahaz.(lets laugh at me)

That night, is reali very cold. Very silent... I was pretty tired.. My eyelids are heavy, i wanted to slp badly.. But i couldnt.. i dunno why.. beats me.. when i tossed and turn on the bed, i realised something wet, something cold is rolling down my face. Haz. Its been lik how long since i last saw my beads of tears? Now i reali know what ppl means by having sleepless night... As i look blankly at the ceiling, i tried to pushed away all thoughts from my mind, and pray and pray.. Hoping that all this is just a joke or a dream.. But it never happens.. I have also experienced my heart being compressed that very night. The tinge of sadness. Its lik someone trying to stuff ur heart into a small box.. its so uncomfortable, its so... i seriously thinks that its way beyond description. Its hurt to a extent, where i tot it will stop beating.. NOW, i know the feeling of having a shattered heart.

Right now, i keep telling myself, i have to be strong.. i must not be beaten.. i must at least endure this few weeks, till my final exam has passed, till my last NDP show is over, before i can break down... Before i can released my emotions lik a small baby.. But u think is that easy?

Thinking back, i wanna laugh... Everything seems so familiar.. Is jus lik marcus incident.. Reali... Right now, i have prayed.. i believe GOD will built me a small box, in which i can keep away all my smiles, all my happiness that i have with u.. Nailed it down with every drop of my tears within my heart... And let the box drop way within my heart...


Wa... reali stunned by the amount of wordss that i have typed... I also realised, emo ppl are good writers.

When i looked into ur eyes,
happiness flooded within me...
When i looked into ur eyes,
my worries and burden all vanished into thin air...
When i looked into ur eyes,
i see all hopes and light...

But now,
i dun even dare to look into ur eyes...
i dun even dare to tink about u...
i dun even dare to open my heart for u again...

Aimlessly, i walked through the night,
with tears in my eyes..
i pressed against my chest,
worringing that u might even stole my heart away...
Luckily is still beating, slowly, restlessly...

For now...
i shall be a bird with broken wings,
always looking at the sky..
waiting for u to pick me back...
back to the times where we had our happy moments..

For now...
i shall be a wooden piece of block,
lifeless, smileless,
till u return me my heart..

For now...

Labels: I shall be strong