Finali.. I managed to close my eyes, let my mind to keep still for the past 18 hrs of long nice slp... Yesterday had ndp preview.. It was rather tiring and exhuasting for me...

In the afternoon, i met my group members.. Everyone was chatting happily, and i jus gave them some forceful smile of mine.. I did not reali talk much that day.. Our army personal -AJ- says we have this trend, that is to onli start smiling non stop at the ending of the show, but not since the starting... Hahaz... and i laugh..

However, when my job starts, seeing the crowd, i reali reali feel lik smiling.. But i dunno y, my cheeks are just too tired.. It is onli when i saw this malay couple, they were grinning face to face, and even say a Hi to me..=p Maybe its because of this warm feeling, for the rest of the hours, i started smiling.. In my mind- i wanted ppl who come for this NDP show not to feel grumpy over the long hours of waiting under the sun, so i smiled and smiled.. Normally, when i see ppl, even though they are strangers, i will smile at them.. I believe its my trait..

But hor.. That night, my cheek was feeling very very tired.. I came to realise that when ur heart is not smiling, not matter how sweet ur smile to others, it will still be very tiring... At least for me.. Haiz... Smile, is something which can makes ppl feel different.. Expressions are given to us for such reason... when u find no reason to smile, it means that ur heart is broken or u dun find any thing worth to smile...

Just when i tink my life is dead, he came to my rescue...

On my way home, my church mate called.. She asked me what happen to me, cuz i so long never go for fellowship.. I told her i got NDP, so saturday isnt free for me till after 9th of August.. She heaved a sigh of relieve upon hearing this... DUnno y, but my heart suddenly feel some warmth.. After which, she asked about things that have troubled me, and i just told her i am tired of life... Surprisingly, she did a short prayer immediately over the phone!.. I was lik wow.. Stun u noe.. Frankly speaking, i do not know her name, but hor, i got a strong feeling.. That is she was sent by god, to me-telling me not to gif up, for He will always be with me, despite the heaviest rain.. Tks God...

At night, when i reached home, i immediately fell aslp after bathing.. I slpt through the whole of sunday.. I guess i was too tired of everything...

Reali miss u leh.. I dunno y though.. I keep wanting to msg u.. But i am reali reali very scared..

NItex, sweet dreams dear, hope by not msging u, ur life wil be better off.. Though mine will not be better.. Take care and all the best for ur coming tests..

=( my heart is still tearing, bead by bead, flowing down the curve edges of my heart..

Drip, drip,drip=(

Labels: I shall be strong